Physiology

In case you haven't figured it out, I have not been blogging much lately. Well, ya know. Whatever. I would love to, and I will occasionally - but please excuse me - I must put the wine down now and study more Physiology. And that's my life now. Maybe Christmas break I'll fill you all in on things.

After, of course, I fill out my new planner for 2009!!!! :) How VERY exciting!!!! and, no, I'm not joking. It's taking all of my will power to study and leave the planning for later.

Medical Term of the Week #2 - an all around favorite of healthcare workers.

Discharging Diagnosis:

Sorry, We can't fix stupid.

Quote of the Week # 16

“Your heart is my piñata.” - Chuck Palahniuk

Medical Term of the Week #1

Severe Miralax Deficiency
n. constipation

I would put a title here, but I don't know the name of the d@mned song :)

It's a song from the early 90's. I want to say '91 or '92. It came out before Mariah Carey's Hero. It was by a female alternative singer (Lisa Loeb type??). The chorus is something about a hero.



I know, I am a dork. This is going to be next to impossible, but I thought I might as well put it on here just in case somebody out there is reading my mind and knew exactly what song I am thinking about. You know, just in case.



So, while trying to figure out this song, and after hours of trying to Google it, I typed Lisa Loeb into my Pandora account. Maybe it will pop up eventually *shrug*. Pretty cool application, Pandora. You type in a song or artist and it plays an ongoing list of similar music. Like the radio - only you can skip songs and rate them - and no commercials or irritating women plugging Purina every 5 seconds. Check it out.

Quote of the Week #15 - 2 weeks late.

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." - Calvin (As in Calvin and Hobbes)

Wow. It's been a while. And I'm tired. And nothing much to talk about. (great grammer don't you think??:) So.

Quote of the week #14

"A few locks of dry white hair clung to his scalp, like wildflowers fighting for life on a bare rock." - excerpt from The Big Sleep


Betcha were expecting something impressive and life-changing, huh. HA!!!

Quote of the week #13 - twice in one weekend, but he just said it and it's GOOD!!!

"I always thought life would be better with background music." - Dr. Randleman, Mercy ED

Quote of the Week #12.... and still truckin'!

"As long as the world is turning, we're gonna be dizzy." - Mel Brooks

Quote of the week #11 - for the single ones of us out there, and to the married and blessed ones.

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”- unknown

Blue

Just to let you know - for the last few weeks, I have made it so that if you click on my post title it takes you to youtube to hear the song. If you didn't know this already - you have to go click on ER Rap! It's great!

P.S. If you ever want to buy me anything - I want these. And I'm not joking. (Although they are hilarious!!)

ER Rap

One thing that is extremely vital to the employees in an emergency department - a sense of humor. When shit hits the fan (sometimes literally) and people are running and hurting, screaming and crying, faking it and dying, humor is a healthy way to work out our emotions towards each other. I'm not saying it's always a healthy humor ;) We pick on each other a lot. Some of our humor could be considered sexual harassment. That flight crew is in a humor-world of their own!!
So, some of us were bored the other day, and talking about movies. Amy had never seen the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. So Nikki decided to do her version. I thought it was quite funny and made her write it down so I could share it with you :)

10 Things I hate about Tory
by Nikki

1. She smells.
2. She refuses to kiss me.
3. She looks way hotter than me.
4. She insists on farting all the time.
5. She has a funny face.
6. Her favorite thing to do is pose naked.
7. She has a mustache.
8. She can't get over her ex. (She also said I won't admit to everyone that I am her gf)
9. Her hair is stupid.
10. She made me write this damned fucking list!

Well, I do fart a lot. :)

Rich Young Dumb ...

Jason*: Ugg! Dr. Mike* drives me crazy! I can't stand that man!

Me: Wow! I thought I was the only one!

Jason: Yeah, well people always say, 'Oh, but he's so nice!' Yeah, well I say 'I've known a lot of nice people in my life that were dumber than shit!"

Ok, so maybe you had to be there.

*names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent .

Quote of the Week #10 - plus some advice from my mother.

Well, my mother forwarded it to me a while back, but most of it is advice she has given me before. She's good to me, my mom...:)

An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus .'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

I'm Not Crazy

For all of you who looked at me like I was insane, you who told me I was insane, and you who pretended your ears hurt when I sang the song; HERE is the Refrigerator Raider.

Thank you.

The Joker

Random jokes of which I approve. (and stole from Reader's Digest :)

A proton walks into a bar and asks for a Diet Coke. The bartender asks, "Are you sure?" The proton says, "I'm positive."

When I worked as a medical intern in a hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent. It took a while before I understood that he had no health insurance. Since he was a World War II vet, I had him transported to a VA hospital where he'd be eligible for benefits. The next day, my patient was back, along with this note from the VA admitting nurse: "Right war, wrong side."

Ode to Starbucks - Mercy Des Moines

Or should it be an ode from Starbucks to me?? I have never been much of a Starbucks fan. Their coffee is not the best. Granted, I've had worse, but I've had much, much better as well. They over-roast their beans. You literally drink burnt coffee. Not to mention their outrageous prices and over-marketing. I used to loath the place. (Moxie Java rocks!! As does the Coffee Beanery but it's even MORE expensive - and neither one is in my area.) But kudos, people, kudos to the Starbucks at Mercy Des Moines. You guys are wonderful.

The problem now, you see, is with me. I am addicted. Dr. McFine has told me on many occasions how happy he is with his Nespresso machine and how that would be a solid investment for me. It could be the two venti cups I always have sitting at my desk; could be that he may be invested in the company, who knows?? ;) I have considered the idea of my own machine - and I am still not decided. You see, when I walk up to Starbucks, The barista's wave and do the whole "Norm!" thing -(but they say "Tory!" of course). It's nice. I've been invited to their graduation parties and weddings. They all know the going-ons of my family and friends. They know where I live and what I do. They know my love life, my music choices, the current state of my car. Most of all, they know my allergies and my favorite drink: venti soy latte, cold, no ice, with a splash of chai. Seriously, I go to other places and I have a hard time remembering what exactly it is that I drink.

The only question they have now is, "How many shots today, Tory?" They limit me to 5 per day, and they must make that part of their report off on each shift. I will try to order 4 shots in the morning and 4 again at night, and they know! I used to get 7,8, or even 9 shots per drink. They coined the 7 shot drink "The Monster" and the 9 shot "The Ultimate Monster". Then I was hospitalized for severe dehydration and my doc told me to drink 3 times as much water as I do caffeine. I told him the "no coffee" thing would never fly. Now, it's only 5 shots and an extra cup to refill my H2O the rest of the day.

Now, the story that makes Lori crack up every time! About a month ago, I went up to the counter and Kelly introduces me to the new girl, Abby. "This is Tory," she tells her and then chats on about her screwed-up hours for the week. Then, I kid you not, Abby stars making my drink. I'm watching her for a little bit and she's doing it perfectly. (I'm picky.) So, I ask Abby, "How does she know what she's doing if she's never done it before?" Kelly tells me "I taught her this morning." Like it was no big deal! They train the new people on my drink! I don't know weather to be honored or ashamed....

So, most of this was written about 3 months ago, and I am just now posting it. I have been caffeine free for most of those three months, so the espresso machine is a no-go. I cannot stay away from my beloved Starbucks, though. Now, my drink of choice is a venti passion tea with 3 Splenda packets, and 1 inch of heavy whipping cream. It's magical! There is just no way a caffeine free life will keep me away! Starbucks here at the hospital is not just a place to pay up the nose for a bitter cup of coffee; it is an oasis of peace in the midst of organized chaos. When you never know if the next patient will code or miraculously recover, whether they will scream at you or joke around, whether they are someone you know or someone else's mom, child, husband, or friend, Starbucks is constant. They make your drink, play old-school music that takes you back to a calmer time, and, if you're like me, they will become your friends. What you order is what you get, and thanks to the people who work here, you get a whole lot more.

Quote of the Week #9

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader's Digest, June 1995

Forward Motion

So. I am at work and pissy and tired and the more pissy I get, the more tired I am. This is not the worst day in the world. Just because some nurse treated me like sh!% doesn't mean I have the right to sulk and whine the rest of the night. I need to snap out of this. There are bigger problems out there! Poor Lori is going through some tough sh!% and I have the nerve to whine about my stupid day. How crappy is that??? Her Dad is dying and I am a sh!%head!! I am stressed. I need to calm down. I need to not be a selfish dork. I continue to fly off the handle for stupid crap. It actually scares me sometimes how mad I can get. I hate anger. :) I think it's a stupid waste of time - yet I still get mad. I just need to calm down, get my head together, and LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!

So. I'm a little better now - thanks!! I got up and walked around a little bit. That helped. So did looking for the Forward Motion video for the link! They so rock!! It's been an interesting day at work and I have denied pampering myself for the last couple weeks. I notice that I am much more balanced when I take that time for myself to do something I want instead of always living in survival mode. I think it is a way of punishing myself for stupid things. I didn't work any overtime for about two weeks and now I can't pay all my bills - so let's make myself more miserable by not being nice to myself!! Sounds like a great idea! Then, I pull myself out of my funk and realize what a dork I'm being. I plan to do better next time and trust me when I say plan - I make lists and study and prepare! Then I get mad - and everything goes out the window. I struggle with forward motion. Anybody else? Or is it just me ;)

P.S. I actually spelled everything correctly! Yeah me!

On the Dark Side

Ronda: OMG! Look at the waiting room! Ten people just walked in within the last 15 minutes.

Me: *singing* I'm of at eleven o'clock, eleven o'clock, eleven o'clock....

Sarah: Thank God! Me too!

Ronda: Tory, why are you off at eleven?

Me: I'm a day-shifter now.

Ronda: Oh, yeah, that's right. You're a trader now.

Me: Yep, and I love it!

Sarah (also a day-shifter): Ya, Ronda. You need to come over from the dark side.

Quote of the Week #8...i think...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”- Maryanne Williamson, (Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech)

Who Needs Sleep?

Wow. I am tired. I know this overtime is good and I get double time and all, but right now I just want to go to bed! Ok, forget bed, I'll just lay my head down on this desk here and.....

Goodbye Earl

I miss my night shift people!!!!! I am pulling some extra shifts this week and it makes me very sentimental for my old crew. They're a cut above on nights during the week here - some very amazing people. I miss them :)

So, today Brenda started painting again - because I was too big of a lazy a$$ to start it on Monday. I painted my heart out all day last Wednesday, and then it rained on everything that night. I am still pissed. So, Brenda started it again in our living room this morning. We are now painting inside as to avoid painting a third time. We'll just be high all week on paint fumes, that's all.

Also today - I did some CNA clinicals in the pre-surgery area. It totally made me wish I would go to school to be a surgeon. But I'm not totally digging school now. That, and I want to stay home with some kids instead. The pics of the open heart surgery still ROCKED, though!

I watched The Seven Year Itch the other day, because I like old movies. Hm. Not impressed. Marylin kissing the guy so his wife would be jealous - yeah, I don't think that would work with me. I would kick his a$$. He would regret that. The part that really irked me was the fantasy with the secretary. She hits on him - he pushes her away - she jumps on him - he hits her - and she asks for more!!!!! Bullshit!!! I am not putting the asterisks in for that one! I actually had to pause the movie and yell and feel sorry that there are people out there who have been taught that kind of thing is ok. I am still fuming - can you tell? So, if I ever get past my infuriation, I may be able to actually see the movie from the artful stand point.

Don't hold your breath.

People Get Ready Jesus is Coming

Ok, so I don't call him Jesus - and I feel pretty darn blasphemous putting that as a heading. The song is good, though :) No - he's a doctor here at Mercy and other people call him Jesus. I call him Dr. McFine. It's the Armani jeans, let me tell ya. I'm not even much of an Armani type girl, but he is the exception to the rule. You know, he is gorgeous, but that's not why I like him so much - he's HILARIOUS! (and pretty geeky, too!) He is from Lebanon I do believe, and he has the long hair and mustach just like the "normal" pictures of Jesus. (hence the nickname...) I won't put his real name down - but everybody I work with will know exactly who I'm talking about :)
At first, I was terrified to talk to him. Or, it may have been that I couldn't breath or think every time he walked by. One day, I was sitting in Pod 3 when he came out of a patients room. He started talking to me about how the patient wanted to die and the family was not ok with this. Then he says to me, as he ponders it aloud, "I think I'd like to die when I'm 99 years old. Ya. 99."
"OK." I said, wondering if he accidentally had a shot of Dilaudid. "Why 99?"
"Well, " he says very pensively - now he's put his pen down and leaning on his elbows on the desk in front of me - "I've always liked odd numbers, and I like numbers you can divide by eleven."
Had Dr. McFine said this to any other person, they would have thought he was nuts. I, however, perfectly accepted this as a reasonable explanation. "Hm, that makes sense. I think I'd like to die at 82. I like even numbers. That, and 8 is the number for new beginnings, and 2 is the number of marriage, or joining."
He liked my answer and we talk every time he comes in now.
He likes to tell me about his espresso machine, and how I need one. Also, he updates me on anything funny with youtube lately, and now we are even facebook friends! He told me tonight he's going to buy me for a dollar. *OK. I'm ok with that!* Actually, the more I get to know him, the more I break down that pedestal I first put him on. I no longer drool over him, I like him better this way. Down to earth and imperfect. It's great!!
Well, tonight he comes down and Amy (one of my favorite nurses) says to another person, "Do you need some help, Moses?" - and Dr. McFine replies, "Moses? I thought I was Jesus?!?!" Amy and I both busted a gut! He was very confused, the poor man! It was quite entertaining.
Sometime, I'll have to tell you about when Amy first met him - that's a pretty good story, too.
Did I mention he has amazing skin? and a great accent.
Nite.

Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?

I am not making fun of people with OCD, just to let you know! I am constantly organizing, alphabetising, and labeling the desks in my area of the E.R. Dr. Nowysz noticed this and started interviewing me for my mental health history. I then proceeded to tell him that I have mapped out the hospital so that no matter where I go - I am going in a counter-clockwise circle. I also have Des Moines mapped out for the purpose of driving in the same manner. I cannot drive from my mother's house by Mason City to my father's house in Center Point, because that would be clockwise from Des Moines. I must go to my father's first. That is just one of my many "quirks". Ask Brenda - she can list them all. So, Dr. Nowysz has unofficially diagnosed me with OCD. The nurses laugh at me every day. I laugh at myself every day. I realize that there is no reason for some of my anal tendencies, (Most have very definite reasons.) and I do see the humor in it all. That doesn't, however, stop me from doing any of it. OCD's OK with me! I just call it organized.

Straight Lines

This by the way - hysterical.

Long, Long Time

I read this person's blog the other day, and all of the titles were song names. I thought it was a good idea. Let's see how long this phase lasts.
So, I truly didn't realize that it had been quite that long since my last post. Lori did. She reminded me a lot. :) Between work, more work, family drama, painting all the furniture I own, school, and Netflix, it's been a little hard to post lately.
Speaking of Netflix... I've been watching a lot of TV online. I watched the entire series of SeaQuest DSV. It's cheesy, it doesn't make much sense, it's a LOT of bad acting (and some good), but it stars Jonathan Brandis. Therefore, it is automatically at the top of My Favorites list. I should type up one of those.... Anyway, I have also watched Weeds. Not as impressed as I hoped to be. The series gets a little far fetched as the seasons go. Again, I watch it for the actors. I adore Mary-Louise Parker and Romany Malco is just lickable. (I'm getting kinda sick of putting in the links and may stop - just to let you know.) The show is pretty addicting, as well - like a soap opera. I am almost willing to pay for Showtime just to see the new stuff right away. (and then I remember - Uncle Randy has Showtime on Demand. And a pool. :) Now I am watching Sliders - another *wonderful* 90's sci-fi show! A little of my CDO comes out while watching Sliders, though. They do not always play their episodes in sequential order. This bugged me as a kid, too. I hated that the preview from the end of the last show was an epidsode that aired 3-odd weeks ago. (or 4-odd weeks from then) Yep, still bugs me.
I think I need to post in short increments. I'm gonna start doing that. Now.

Quote of the Week #7 - OK, so I'm a little behind...

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but with the letters in alphabetical order, like they're supposed to be." - Hanan Rahman, Reader's Digest

Quote of the week #6 - has it really been that long??

“I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it.” - Audrey Hepburn

Quote of the Week #5

"My father used to say, 'Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument.'" - Desmond Tutu

Quote of the Week #4 and still rollin'...

"The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.” - Chuck Palahniuk

Turn, turn, turn....

It is time for a change. I have switched out my colors for the last 2 hours - with help from Lora! - and I think I'm satisfied! Unfortunately, I do not have the patience to go back to previous posts to change my random coloring. If you read them - just highlight them to see better. Otherwise, I don't care :) Thanks for coming!!!

Quote of the week #3

So I am up way past my bedtime writing a paper for my CNA class - certified nursing assistant - and I thought it was worth sharing. (Although I am pretty sure I should have seperated it into a few more paragraphs. to tired to care.....) Then I realized it was waaaaayyyyyy past Tuesday, I had no quote for the week yet! So I changed the title. And here you go :)

When you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.

I thought all my friends in high school were crazy for choosing careers in the medical field. Almost all of them were certified nursing assistants by the time we graduated. I thought the very idea was appalling! I hated the idea of cleaning up after myself, let alone anyone else! I did not understand the ethics and motivations that I now appreciate in this field. I did not, however, have any idea of what it was I actually wanted to do with my life.

I started out of school working in manufacturing. I did enjoy the paycheck, but my job did not make me feel complete and fulfilled. I knew people were buying my products, but i wanted more. I was also going to college at the time. For what, I had no idea; but my desire for direction was mounting. I realized that I liked my work-study job in the cafeteria of the college more than my classes. My grades were dropping as I spent more time in the kitchen. That, I decided would be my path. I eventually landed a position at a local nursing home, cooking the evening meal. I enjoyed my job immensly, yet I still felt that there was something more I should be doing. After about a year, I realized that my favorite part of my day was interacting with the residents of the home while washing tables. Most people would have jumped into NA class immediately. I was mad. I was upset that I now felt a desire to enter a field that I had teased people about for so long! Thankfully, it didn't take me too long to get over that. I enrolled at the college once again; this time I took the 75 hour NA course. I did my clinical's at the nursing home for which I worked. I am still very glad I chose this route because I could focus so much more on what I was learning. I didn't have to worry about where things were and what name went with which person. Not long after becoming certified, I moved to Des Moines and took a 60 hour advanced NA course. I began doing staff relief immediately after and cried for two weeks straight! I do not recommend staff relief directly out of class. I was thrown into unfamiliar places with short staff and even shorter instructions. I will say that I learned as much those two weeks as I did during my NA courses. Only test anxiety didn't compare to my stress level then! I talked with my supervisor and we decided that home care would be a much better choice for me. I cannot express in words how much I loved my home care position. The one-on-one care was fulfilling and rewarding to both myself and my clients. I enjoyed the patients with Alzheimer's the most. I saw how nursing and different medical situations directly affected the other staff, the patient, the families, and the communities. Home care provided me with a vast knowledge of how people cope with medical changes and emergencies, and with death. It did not, however, leave me much time to advance my degree. That is how I have come to be at Mercy Medical Center. I first worked as a transporter for the Ultrasound department. I hoped I would be able to learn the layout of the hospital setting, both physically and medically. I took advantage of all the people I met, by asking them a multitude of questions about their departments and career choices. I switched to a weekend job in the emergency room to make time for school and learn about a part of the hospital I was still not familiar with. After three years at Mercy, I have decided to pursue nursing. I have not yet decided what division of nursing in which I would like to specialize; I am hoping clinical's will expose me what I need for that decision.

Here I am, eight years after graduating high school, and not at all where I envisioned. I am in a much better place than I ever imagined. Nursing is not just a career choice to me, it is a life choice. Everything I have learned and done has made me a better person, and hopefully has done the same for my patients. I enjoy helping others through their times of need, even if it only to get them a warm blanket. What motivated my friends to become CNA's, even with my jeers, has become evidently clear to me today. I strive to keep the motivations and ethics always prevalent in my life. I want to be a nurse.

So, yes, I have to take the class again for nursing school. Just to explain that there. And why can I not tab on here??? Would someone please explain that to me?!?!?!

Have a good week!!

Test with Lori

She is making me learn (over the phone) how to link.

Here's her blog.

(And she's making me type this! She's gone all Chuck Norris on me!!)

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!!

It has come to my attention that I am quite negative on my blog. I realized this today. I went to another person's blog and was astounded. It is beautiful and made me happy. Then she looked at mine. So, of course, I had to read through my blog to see what she read, and I was not impressed! I whine a lot!!! Also, most of my blog is written in a "language" only my friends understand. LOTS of room for adding my personality in so that I don't look so shallow!! I am sarcastic and compassionate people! I laugh at myself a LOT and I expect others to, as well! I need to start showing that! (Well, more so the compassionate part!) I forget that not everybody sees me as an open book. I totally am! So, here's a happy blog, with some clarifications. (If she ever decides to come back!!!)


Clarification #1. (I am hugely self-diagnosed OCD and I must categorize, organize, and label everything! You should see my notes from school - it's quite funny.) I am not just wanting the job in Alaska for the benefits - that is just an added bonus! I always told my mother that if I didn't live in Iowa all my life - I would be in Colorado or Alaska. Mountains and snow ROCK! Both my mother and I have been to Colorado and I was thrilled, she was not. I am sooooooo excited about going and experiencing the whole world of Alaska! I laughed when I read that it was a small town of 3,000 people! Ha! The town I grew up in was 400 on a good day. (pretty sure they counted the dogs, too!)


Clarification #2. I love my job! I really do. It's just taxing at times and this is the best place to let that go. Taking it out on my fellow co-workers would just make them upset, too, and everybody would have a bad day. So, I smile, say thank-you for everything, and secretly blog my frustrations in a comical way to you people! Please don't take them to heart! I decided to work in health care because I have a terrible passion for helping people. Passion, burden, same thing! (There's that sarcasm again! :) I enjoy what I do and I am glad to be a small part of a bigger picture! Sometimes I just loose sight of the big picture and start to drown in the small one. Anybody relate??? I'm sure not!


Clarification #3. I know proper English quite well. I just don't care.


Clarification #4. I have no idea what is proper blog etiquette. I probably never will. So, as in the non-virtual reality, I apologize ahead of time for being ignorantly rude. It happens a lot, deal with it or not. (see previous blog - DDR and afn - foot-in-mouth syndrome)



Clarification #5. I have an obsessive personality and a short attention span. Lori told me she finds this refreshing! Since everything is all about Lori, and we all know this, what she says - goes. I have always found it to be a burden, as have most people who know me. I am pleased that somebody likes it. She almost made me cry when she told me that!

Clarifica - Speaking of a short attention span - I'm done.

Quote of the Week #2, a day early...

Since the subject for a while will be my obsession with Alaska:

There's a saying about Alaskan men - the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Patience is a virtue.....of which I lack.

If anyone has any input on living in Alaska, or something else interesting about the beautiful place, let me know!!! Two whole days ago, my friend, Julie, told me of a job in Alaska. They hire seasonal nurses (6 months at a time) and the benefits they offer are incredible. I want to go now. Keep in mind - I start nursing school in August. I highly doubt they pay their secretaries as well! I am so excited I could spit! (remind me to look up the origin of that saying) I have been google-ing all I can about it. I even looked up myspace people from the town I am looking at; guess what - they have idiotic, bored teenagers too! I like that I have something to work towards, a goal to keep my focus. I am not happy, however, that my obsessive tendencies have kicked in and that is all I can think about!!!! I am driving myself crazy!

I guess it is a constructive distraction from moving, school, and, above all, Tammy. Maybe I like the contrast that says, "Good things are still happening!" When Tammy first died a little over a month ago, I was upset that the world didn't stop turning and pay its respects. Now, I am so grateful for all of the other things going on. I do not feel so lost in grief. It is still there, don't get me wrong, but at least my obsession is a happy one for a while. For those of you who don't know, Tammy was my mother's sister. My mother's side of the family is extremely close; she was my aunt, but she was also one of my best friends. I miss her. I cannot write much now - I am at work and about to break out in tears!

I may write later!!!

Quote of the week. # 1 - We'll see how far this goes...

"Relish the fact that the road of your life will probably be a windy road. Something like in The Wizard of Oz. You see the glory of Oz up ahead, but there are lots of twists and turns along the way - lots of tin men, lots of green women." - Suzan-Lori Parks

P.S.

If you want to know where the CT report for 21 is, ask me. I will gladly call them and find out what the hold up is. DO NOT, however, say quietly to yourself (right beside me - loud enough for me to hear): Hmm, I wonder where my CT report is.....

Twice.

I do not respond well.

Irritated at work - you may want to ignore this - I'm venting!!!!

You know what irritates me? Let me make you a list.



1. When doctors ask me questions that I have nothing to do with, and then expect me to find out the answer for them. Not ask me to find out. They just expect it.



No, I don't know where your damned EKG is! I ordered it and put it in the tech's slot. It's not there anymore, so I would guess that you should ask the tech about your EKG! From that point on, it has nothing to do with me! You want to know where it is - ask me nicely and respectfully to find it for you and I will be glad to. Give me that damned look again and I'll find it just so I can shove it up your a**!!!!



2. When techs ask me questions I have nothing to do with. Repeatedly.



No, I have no idea if 4 needs an I.V. That's for the nurse. That doesn't come through me. No, I don't know if blood has already been drawn, I just know what was ordered. That's it! Really! Just like that's all I knew on room 3, and room 2, and for that matter, room one. And just for planning-ahead's sake, I will also not know on rooms 5, 6, 7, or 8. I didn't know yesterday and I will not know when we work together again tomorrow. (5 minutes later...) NO, I DO NOT KNOW IF 9 NEEDS AN I.V.!!!!!!!



3. Nurses who try to do my job. IE. The call light rings. I look at it - it is for a patient who is not in my pod. I expect that the secretary for that pod will answer it, and they do. Our call lights continue to ring until someone physically goes in the room and shuts it off. (NOT, by the way, supposed to be done by a secretary.)



Irritating nurse: Is that my light?



Me: No, it's room 12. That's why I didn't answer it. (in my head.....) If it was your f#%king light, I would have f#%king TOLD you!!! That's my f#%king job! Go do yours and leave me the f#%k alone!!!!!!!!

I am going to stop now. I am tired and I need to let things go so I can get through this shift without disemboweling the good doctor. Thank you. Good night.

A list.

So. Lori is insisting that I actually blog. So here I am - telling you what's up with me.

I have been avoiding studying for the NET for a couple weeks now. I really need to start soon.

I'm working with some very bitchy nurses tonight.

I need to clean my car out DESPERATELY!!!!!! It is starting to reek.

I ran into my high school science teacher today! That was nice. He taught me a lot. It was good to be able to tell him.

I think I would like to get one of those not-motorcycle, geeky-looking scooter thingys to save on gas. All I ever do is go to work anyway. I can use all the money I save on gas to actually go visit my parents! and Lori!

My friend Sarah had her twins last night!!!! YEAH SARAH!!!!!!!!! Two pretty healthy little boys - Wyatt and Chase.

I forgot to pay my phone bill last month. The bad part is - they have my phone number and won't stop reminding me!!

I am SOOOOOO excited that I only have 3 more weeks of the laundry matt!!!!!!

I got a bunch of shots at the doctor's office on Wednesday to get ready for nursing school. My left arm hurts like hell!! Tetanus. And it freakin ITCHES!!! Have you ever swam for, like, hours and hours, and then tried to lay down and sleep, and your body hurts so bad you just cry and want to scream??? Yup, that's about what it's like. Keep in mind - I am a weeny.

I am tired. And I don't know what I want to be doing right now, but I know I don't want to be here. (work)

I am working with Lisa tonight and she's a peach! - really! - I'm totally not being sarcastic. She is so perky. It's contagious.

I am thankful for spellcheck.

I got a new record player. Now I am just waiting for the records that I bought on e-bay to arrive. THEN I remembered that I already packed the record player for the move. (Since I had no records to play in it.)

I have an appointment for next month with the Mercy chaplain, to teach me when and why I should sit/stand/kneel during mass. That way I don't look like an idiot when I finally decide to go. That - and I really think it would show respect to my friends, the congregation, and God if I had an understanding of what I was doing. I am not very good at the spectator thing. Get this Lori - he's a deacon at St. Francis of Assisi!!

I start school on June 2nd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Physiology. I start my CNA class on the 3rd. I am excited! The sooner we start - the faster it's over!!!!!!

I am training a woman to take my position so that I can move to weekends. I am very upset. This woman is irritating, slow, trouble-instigating, unfocused, gossip-obsessed, and does that weird eye-bulging thing when she's telling you something that is just oh-so-awful! She is more interested in the personal lives of the patients and doctors than she is in learning how to do her job. I am not comfortable leaving my nurses with an incompetent replacement. I also have no choice. I cannot stay in my position, I have voiced my concerns to the "higher-ups", and I have been told no one else even applied. It's her or nobody. I think they will eventually wish they would have chosen nobody.

Again, spellcheck rocks.

Dr. Hatchitt just told me about a record player - the Ion Record player- that plays all sizes and can record the sound onto your computer, and be hooked up to your stereo. I want one.

I only have an hour of work left. *a very tired* yeah!

I bought The Last Unicorn on DVD the other day! It was on sale at Wal-Mart. I love that movie!!

Now I need The Never-Ending Story.

I am really feeling like I should keep in touch with people better. I miss some people in my life. I am very bad at correspondence. I am just so busy. I need to make it a bigger priority.

I am very glad for new sheets. I am so a girl. I love being girly!

I do not feel well today, because I made a dip-shit move and ate a couple bites of a (not worth it) cheesecake with crust. *kicking myself in the ass* I really need to work on why I do this and what I can do to keep myself in line. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! I am destroying my own insides! For a STUPID sugar addiction!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I am going to clean up my desk a little and get ready to close down the pod for the night. So, have a good one, and hopefully I'll do this again soon.

P.S. - they've called me two more times about my phone bill since I started typing this. :)

Why is it that every time I have the time to blog, I can never seem to come up with the words to say; why is it that every time I have other things to do, I can recite blog after blog in perfect rhythm. God's sense of humor? I think that goes a little beyond deliciously sarcastic.



I am tired and I have a lot of things to do today: run to Newton to get my planner from Angie (finally!!), find my debit card, cash my check, run to Wal-mart for more packing tape, stop at the post office to overnight a check I should have sent last week, etc., etc., etc. I am more tired just thinking about it! Then, another twelve hour long shit, I mean, shift tonight. Do I sound thrilled? I am. Now that is not quite deliciously sarcastic. Depressingly sarcastic. Yeah - that's it.


I am finally posting this. Almost two weeks later.

Stupid reality TV anyway.

When Kim Kardashian and Nick Lachey dated and were, thereafter, plastered all over every magazine and TV spot imaginable, my first thought was, "Who the hell are these people?" Yes, I choose to live under a rock. (I consider it living out of the fog, personally.) Brenda explained a few things to me:
1. Nick is a former member of N'SYNC. With my adolescent obsession with The Backstreet Boys, that is an excused oversight.
2. Kim Kardashian is just a rebound girl. Duh. Star magazine said so.
3. Kim Kardashian is.... long pause .... well, Kim Kardashian. Again, duh.

I have been going over this in my head, off and on, for about a year now. I was considerably perplexed. Is this girl an actress? a writer? a designer? Is she a political woman? Did she do something considerable and I don't even recognize her name? Have I really crawled that far under this rock? The question that has eaten away at me for quite some time: Should I care who this woman is? I actually walk around thinking about these things. Sure, I could have googled her and found out exactly what I needed to know, but I didn't care that much.

When Brenda and I are home, there is a lot of give and take when it comes to the television. We rarely ever agree on something to watch. I like sci-fi, foreign, educational, and some comedic shows. She likes reality TV, entertainment magazine shows, and comedies that make me feel the need to shower afterward. I love her, she loves me, (as friends I should point out) and we compromise. We do agree on some shows such as Gray's Anatomy, NCIS, October Road, and The Girls Next Door. (I realize that last one is a bit of a stretch, but no-one ever said I was mentally stable.) I have forced Brenda to sit through movies like East is East and Curse of the Golden Flower. About two weeks ago, we watched one of Brenda's regular shows, Keeping up with the Kardashians. Finally!!! I was going to learn who the infamous Kim Kardashian was! I didn't. Just to let you know. It was, though, a relatively entertaining program. I was quite surprised how genuine they appeared to be. Chloe reminds me so much of Brenda, I laughed at everything she said. I liked it. I can't BELIEVE it, but I did. *sharp gasp as 'Female of the Species' plays in the background* I have not missed an episode since. Granted, I watch the second airing of the week. Still, the question arose, "Who the hell are these people?"

All this gibber-jabber has finally lead to my point: Last night, Brenda and I watched THS and I finally learned who Kim Kardashian is. Superficially, of course. It was an enlightening hour. I realized many things: that I care, maybe, a bit too little about sports, how broad the term 'sport' is, how young and uninformed I was during the O.J. Simpson trial, how I still tend to judge 'Prada Girls' entirely too harshly (I'm working on that, really.), and how I need to stop obsessing over stupid little questions like "Who the hell is Kim Kardashian?".

So, in conclusion, (I can see every English teacher I've ever had cringe) I have ultimately learned that Kim is just a person. Just like every other person out there. I knew this before, but for some reason, not knowing why she was famous, made her mysterious to me. Like something I needed to solve. Now, I am elated enough to have learned so much about her, that I am willing to bore you people with my journey.

Thanks for listening.

DDR and afn!

How do you keep an anti-sport, lazy, video game addict from having to spend money on bigger clothes every year? Dance Dance Revolution Extreme 2 people. That is the answer! I am officially obsessed. Two weeks ago, the most strenuous activity I participated in was walking from the cafeteria to my desk; even then I would be out of breath. I have been playing this game for an average of 2 hours a day since it arrived (2 weeks ago) and every muscle in my body aches! It’s wonderful! Finally, an exercise program for nerdy gamers! I am excited. My roommate, on the other hand, just shakes her head at me. Yet another reminder of how so very different we are :)

My mother is supposedly coming down this weekend. I am trying not to get excited. My mother taught me many great things in life: love the earth, love thy neighbor, stand up for what is right. Unfortunately, she also taught me to be at least 15 minutes late for everything, speak before you think, and rarely follow through on your word. She means well, she truly does. The last time we made plans, we started out with “I’m coming to spend the weekend with you.” That slowly progressed to (or regressed to, rather) “Ok, I’m going to stay at your place on Saturday.” This eventually became, “I’m stopping by sometime on Saturday.” The whole visit lasted about 15 minutes. Or less. This is not unusual. Despite my intense determination not to inherit this habit, my grandmother has so eloquently pointed out the opposite. I am my mother’s daughter. I am trying to correct the situation. Now, I just refuse to commit to anything until the last minute. I’m not so sure that is a better attitude (in fact, I’m sure it’s not!), but I am hoping it will help. If I can discipline myself to stick to last minute decisions, with a bit of luck, that will build my stamina when it comes to the long term commitments. Then, maybe, just maybe, I can teach my mother something for a change. That sounded very ungrateful. I’ll have to post my English paper and that will help explain things!

Ok Miss Lori, I have posted! I need to study the central nervous system now, so ttfn. Actually, I think I prefer afn. Adieu for now!

Phat Girlz

Ok, so it's not normally my kind of movie, but it happens to now be a favorite of mine! It's about a fat woman who learns to love herself (and her hot African man!!). I love the premise. I love the emotion. I love the music!! I think you have to be a fat woman to appreciate the movie fully. The first time I saw it, Craig rented it for me. Now, for those of you who don't know (as if anyone but Lori actually reads this blog), Craig is my boyfriend. He's an African man (Durban, South Africa to be exact) who likes big women and speaks 7 different languages. I love him - teehee!! - but at first I had a really hard time understanding that he likes me big. He wanted me to watch the movie as a way of explaining to me that he grew up in a culture that rejoiced over fat women. As the whitest Iowa girl in the United States, I could not fathom this idea. Now, I love it ;) I only gave it 9 stars on IMDb, however, because all the men in the movie have six-pack abs. Sorry, girls. I like my men big, too. Muscles are not my thing. Strong, yes, bulging muscles, ew.

Maybe I'll figure out how to put the pic on later. I'm still trying to figure out the link thing :)

The Winter Blues

I see the sun twice a week. Saturday afternoons and Monday mornings. (Driving to work doesn't count. I'm always in the car and in a hurry, so all I notice about it is that it is in my eyes.) I need sun time. It's driving me crazy. So here's my schedule:

Monday

Wake 9AM

run errands in the AM since things are actually open

Anatomy 4-6

do homework

Work 1030 PM-7AM

Tuesday

Wake 5PM

Work 630PM-7AM

Wednesday

Wake 2PM

Anatomy 4-6

Work 630PM-7Am

Thursday

Wake 5PM

Work 630PM-3AM

Friday

Wake 9AM

Work 1030AM-11PM

Saturday

Wake 7AM

English Comp. 8AM-Noon

Laundry, run more errands, clean apartment (or nap:)

Sunday

Wake 9AM

Work 1030AM-11PM

Then it starts all over again.

I'm tired. I'm crabby. I'm cold. I need a day in the sun, damn it!

Going to Lori's last week was awesome. I needed to get away after six weeks of monotony. Unfortunately, when I got back, my contentment-o-meter is way out of whack. I know that what I am doing is good. I am actually working towards good things; I am paying off debts and keeping up with the game (not to be confused with staying ahead :), and working towards a degree. This idea is great, and they are both things I sincerely want to accomplish! It seems that there are some times, though, that the idea, the goal, gets lost in a fog of fatigue, selfish desires, and the Starbucks it takes to get me through it all. Lately, the fog has been all-consuming. So here I am, whining. Online even! The funny thing is, about the time I whine about it, I start to regain focus. Maybe it's just an "admitting you have a problem is the first step to a cure" scenario. I sure hope so. I am not a big fan of the winter blues. I think tomorrow I will buy some of those natural light-light bulbs. I'll let you know if they help!

Audrey Dearest

I am a huge Audrey Hepburn fan. I am actually watching A Roman Holiday right now! As I have completely lost my ability to focus on one thing at a time, I am also blogging for the first time in months. Lori will be happy!! -Oh! Oh! I love this part!- The one where she plays with her shoe and has to flip it around under her dress while still looking incredibly elegant! She rocks! I was so excited when I got this movie (e-bay 5.00!) and tore it open to show Brenda (the roommate).

"Well," she said, not quite as enthusiastic as me, "you won't have to mark that one. Everybody will know whose movie that one is. Is that black and white? Are you shitting me?" She shook her head and continued reading her People (or some such) magazine. No idea what she's missing out on.

We went out tonight with a few friends of mine from work. I don't know why I continue to do this. I am such a home-body. I would rather be cleaning. Seriously. Or maybe doing homework. I have much more fun learning than I do sitting in a loud, crowded bar, straining to talk about nothing important, with people I don't have much in common with. For some reason, it sounded fun earlier in the night. Brenda was bored out of her mind, since she knew nobody and hates to listen to people talk about Mercy (the hospital where I work).

"I just don't get it. Why would you want to talk about work when you're not there. Aren't we going out to forget about working for a while??"

So now she's in bed, and I can watch my AMAZING movie instead of cleaning. I suppose I could be doing that instead of this. Or, I could make something to eat and think about how I should be cleaning my apartment while I'm at work all day tomorrow. When I'm there I want to be home, when I'm home I would rather be at work. Someone needs to work on their state of contentment! *innocent little smile!!!*

So that's it today. So far, while blogging, I have thought of my Wal-Mart list, the dishes, how I need to get up early to go to the laundry mat, and how I need to visit my Dad again soon. Wow, that's 6 things at once. Crap. Only 5. I'm going to have to back the movie up a bit.